Snapshots
by sheisdifferent
Summary: Exactly what the title says, little snapshots into Harvey and Donna’s life together.
1. 9x03

Donna walks through the door, into the entryway of his apartment. He'd left the door open for her, just as he'd promised. She can't help but wonder when he might not need to do that anymore, their relationship was progressing so quickly, the exchanging of keys couldn't be far away. It gives her a giddy feeling, excited for all of the next steps they get to take together.

With a smile on her lips, she toes out of her heels, leaving them by the door, and heads into the living room. She finds him on the couch, reading through a file, soft music coming from his sound system. He looks up when he hears her approach, a smile replacing the frown of concentration on his face. 'Hey. You're here' He says softly, setting the file down. She smiles back at him. 'I said I would be. You didn't believe me?' She says, teasingly. He smirks up at her. 'No, I did. I just wasn't sure that Louis was going to let you loose this soon.' She leans down, giving him a quick kiss, before dropping down next to him, and leaning her head on his shoulder.

'Sheila was tired. It was a really nice night, I'm glad I went over. I think it was good for him, and for me too. With everything that's going on, we still have to remember to take time for the important things. He's my friend. He needed to know that I still value that- that WE still value that, that just because we are together now, that hasn't changed.' She says, picking up his glass of scotch sitting on the coffee table, and taking a sip. He nods. 'I know. I had a similar conversation with him earlier, in my office' she smiles up at him. 'He told me about that. That was good, Harvey. I went over for one part, to convince him not to leave, but it turns out you had already done that.' She pokes his chest, teasingly. He grabs her hand, lacing their fingers together. 'Well, we make a good team, you and I.' He says, squeezing her hand. She smiles. 'We always have' She says softly. He smiles at her, leaning down to kiss her, the hand not already entwined with her own, cradling her cheek.

He pulls back, running his thumb along her cheekbone. 'I'm glad you had a good night. Even gladder that you came home to me after' he says softly. She looks up at him, with a little bit of wonder, it still shocks her sometimes, how open he is with her now. That he doesn't just tell her how he feels, he shows it, everyday. 'I always will.' She says with a smile. He shakes his head. 'Not always. You didn't the other night.' She sighs. 'Harvey..' he cuts her off. 'No, I know. I know why. I just wish you could've told me at the time, so we could've avoided the whole situation. I don't like sleeping without you' He finishes, a slight blush on his face, like he didn't mean to say that last part. She cradles his face in her hands. 'It's a learning curve for both of us here, but I think we're doing fine. We just have to talk to each other about what we are thinking and feeling. We've spent so many years avoiding doing exactly that, it's just going to take some time to get used to, but I promise to not let any of that stop me from coming back to you at the end of the day. I don't like sleeping without you either.' She finishes softly. He turns his head to kiss her palm, letting her feel his smile. 'Good' he murmurs. She leans in to kiss him again. 'Good.' She replies, leaning her forehead against him. They were going to be just fine.


	2. Scottie

They had just finished dinner, walking out of the restaurant holding hands and laughing about something or other, when they run into her. Literally. Harvey reaches out a hand to steady the woman, as she almost ricochets off his chest, before he even realises who it is. 'I'm so sorry, we weren't watching where...Scottie.' He says, surprise in his voice. The aforementioned woman smirks up at him. 'Harvey. Nice to run into you' She says teasingly. Donna looks from her boyfriend to the woman who has been in his life for as long as she's known him, feeling slightly uncomfortable. She tries to subtly remove her hand from his, not wanting to make this situation more awkward than it already is, and is surprised when Harvey tightens his grip, shaking his head slightly. Scottie, notices, of course. She looks over at Donna. 'Donna. It's nice to see you. I guess he finally saw, huh?' She says, referring to the conversation they'd had only weeks ago. Donna smiles, a tight, uncomfortable thing. 'I guess he did' She says, shrugging slightly. Harvey looks between the two women. One, whom he'd thought might be the one he'd end up with, and the other the only one he could EVER have ended up with, and frowns. 'Am I missing something here?' He says.

Scottie smirks again. 'Just a conversation we had, woman to woman. Nothing you need to worry about.' She says lightly. Harvey frowns again. 'Right...' he says sarcastically. Donna clears her throat, wanting desperately to change the subject. Or leave. Leaving would be her preference, but Scottie looks far to amused, she knows they aren't getting away that easily. 'So. Scottie, what brings you here? Date?' She says, smiling, feeling like she needs to turn it back around on the other woman. Scottie laughs lightly. 'Nothing that exciting I'm afraid, I had dinner with a client last night, and left my scarf behind, was just coming to grab it. So, how long has this..' She waves a hand between Donna and Harvey '...been a thing?' She asks, looking between them, curiosity and something Donna can't quite place, on her face. Donna sighs and goes to open her mouth to reply when Harvey cuts in. 'Long enough, Scottie, and to be honest, that's not really any of your business.' He says shortly. Donna looks at him sharply 'Harvey..' she starts to admonish him. Scottie holds up her hand. 'No, he's right, it's not really, at least not anymore.' She says softly, her gaze cutting off to the side.

Donna looked at the woman closely. As much as they may have had their differences in the past, what they both had in common and the one thing they agreed upon, is that they cared about Harvey. Donna knew that Scottie had loved Harvey, probably still did, in one way or another. She hoped for her sake, that she wasn't still IN love with him. She knows from experience how hard it is to love someone who can never love you back. At least not the way you need them to. Lucky for her, her someone ended up feeling the same way. It wasn't to be the case for Scottie, if that was indeed the way it still was for her. Either way, one thing was clear. The woman needed closure, once and for all. Seeing them together might have done just that, but Donna knew the two former lovers needed to have a conversation, one she couldn't be a part of.

Giving Scottie a quick smile, she squeezed Harvey's hand lightly, before letting go. He looked sharply at her, reaching out toward her again, but she smiled at him reassuringly, laying her hand on his arm lightly. 'I'm going to go get a cab. I promised I'd give Rachel a call tonight, so that's going to take some time, you know how we are' she smiles teasingly at him, trying to soothe the look of worry that has come over his face. 'It'll give the two of you a chance to talk for a bit.' Not giving him a chance to reply, she kisses him quickly on the cheek. 'I'll see you back at your apartment, okay?' He looks slightly shocked and a little annoyed, but he nods his agreement wordlessly. Donna turns back to Scottie, not missing the look of appreciation in her eyes. 'It was nice seeing you, Scottie. Hope you find what your looking for in there.' She says, knowing her words are a double entendre. Scottie smiles at her. 'Thank you, Donna.' Her words light, but her face shows her gratefulness. Donna just nods, giving Harvey one last reassuring smile, before turning to leave. His hand on her wrist stops her momentarily. He looks at her, eyes intense, as if trying to tell her something. 'I won't be long. Get the fireplace going, okay? It's cold out.' He murmurs to her. She looks at him, affection in her voice when she answers. 'I will. And Harvey, it's _okay_. Take your time.' With one last squeeze of his hand, she turns and hails a cab, sliding in without looking back.

Using her newly returned key, she lets herself into Harvey's apartment, closing the door behind her. He was right, it _is_ cold out, and the apartment is chilly after not being inhabited all day. She goes and flicks on the fireplace, before picking up her phone and hitting speed dial 2. She settles onto the sofa, her phone pressed to her ear. Rachel picks up almost straight away. 'Hey Harriet.' She says, her voice sweet and teasing. Donna smiles 'Hey Michelle. How's my favourite sidekick?' She says laughingly. Rachel scoffs 'Please, I'm the best partner in crime you ever had, and you know it.' Donna laughs. 'Damn right you are!' She looks out the window, taking in the impressive view of the New York City skyline from Harvey's apartment. 'I miss my sidekick. How are you, Rach?' She says softly. She hears Rachel's smile in her voice when she replies. 'I miss you too, Donna. We're great! Busier than ever, but the work we are doing is so fulfilling, you know? It makes the long hours and crazy days all worth it.' She says softly. Donna smiles. 'That's so great Rachel, I'm so happy you guys are doing well over there, even though I kind of wish you weren't, so you'd have to come back home.' She says teasingly. Rachel laughs. 'Yeah, yeah. You and my dad both! Enough about me though, how are you doing? How's Harvey?' She says, anticipation in her voice. Donna smiles softly. Rachel has always been her biggest cheerleader when it came to herself and Harvey. She doesn't think there was anyone happier to hear about them finally getting their shit together, as Mike so aptly put it, than her-with the exception of Mike himself, of course.

Donna smiles at the remembrance of the conversation her and Rachel had finally had, when she called her back. The honest to god squeal she let out, still hurting her ear. 'I'm great. Harvey's great. Something interesting happened tonight though, we ran into Scottie after we finished dinner. Like literally, ran into her' she says, hearing Rachel take in a surprised breath. 'Wow. Scottie, huh? I kind of thought we'd seen the last of her' she says tentatively. Donna sighs. 'Yeah, me too. Especially after our last conversation-which she bought up tonight, by the way. I thought Harvey's head was going to explode from curiosity.' She says with a laugh. Rachel chuckles. 'I can imagine. So... what happened? I'm guessing he's not with you now, because we wouldn't be talking about this if he were' she says. Donna hums softly in response. 'Nope. I left the two of them behind to talk.' There is a beat of silence across the line before Rachel responds. 'Okay, wow. Um... why?' She says, curiosity in her voice. Donna sighs again. 'Because I've been in her shoes. She needs closure, Rach. With everything that's gone on between them all these years, the stops and the starts, I don't think they've ever really had that. It's important that they do. For her, but also for Harvey. I know he feels guilty about the way things went down with them. Hopefully this gives them a chance to put it all to bed, once and for all.' She finishes softly. Rachel lets out a breath. 'Wow, yeah. That's.. your right. Closure is important. You don't.. you don't still think she's in love with him, do you?' She says tentatively.

Donna closes her eyes for a second. 'I don't know, Rach. It really doesn't matter, and it's none of my business anyway.' She says softly. Rachel scoffs. 'Um...no, it really kind of is.' She says incredulously. Donna shakes her head, even though Rachel can't see it. 'No, it's not. I hope, for her sake she's not, because I of all people, know what it's like to be in love with a man who doesn't love you back, and I wouldn't wish that upon her. It sucks. It's hard and painful and awful' she says, something pained in her voice, remembering how it had felt. 'But like I said, it doesn't matter. If she is, this is what it might take for her to move on. They owe it to each other.' She finishes, letting the silence settle for a beat. When Rachel responds, it's soft. 'And.. you really aren't worried? At all?' Donna let's out a soft sigh. 'No Rach, I'm not. I trust Harvey, implicitly. I always have and I always will. There's nothing there for him anymore, at least not romantically. When he..' she stops, wondering at sharing this next part with her friend. She hadn't yet, it seemed too personal, too intimate. She thought now was okay though, to make her understand. '...when he came to my door that night, he didn't say a word. We didn't have to talk...I saw it on his face. He was in this, with me, finally ready to take this chance. I always knew, that if we ever did this, it'd be for keeps. He's it for me. That night, I knew it was the same for him. So no, I'm not worried.' She finishes, her voice soft. Rachel sighs. 'Okay. God, I can't believe it took you two so long to do this. You are so good together. I wish I was there to see it.' She says wistfully. Donna smiles. 'Come back for a visit soon... or maybe we could come to you.' She says brightly. Rachel laughs. 'Yes! Either of those.. we'll work something out soon. Now tell me... is Harvey really the best closer in New York, in _every_ way?' She says saucily. Donna laughs, loud and surprised. 'Well, he does do this _one_ thing...'

Donna hears the door open and close, and leans her head back on the sofa, watching him walk toward her. She got off the phone with Rachel about 15 minutes ago, after a long chat. She really did miss her friend, but their mandatory weekly check ins kept them feeling close. 'Hey. Mike and Rachel say hi' She says in greeting, watching as he goes straight to the scotch decanter. He pours two glasses and walks over to where she's sitting, placing the drinks on the coffee table, and leaning over and kissing her, all without saying a word. She kisses him back readily, all to ready to accept his affectionate gesture. He pulls back after a beat, sinking down beside her, pulling her to his side. 'Hey' He says softly. She looks at him closely. 'You okay? How'd it go with Scottie?' She says. He sighs, and picks up her hand, playing with her fingers. 'It was good... a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but good. I guess I didn't.. I didn't realise how much I'd hurt her back then...or I _did_, but...well I guess at the time, there seemed to be more important issues at hand. I got a chance to apologise to her for that. I think she needed it. Hell, I think I did too.' He murmurs. Donna smiles knowingly, wrapping her arm around his middle and resting her chin on his chest. 'I _know_ you did, Harvey. I know you've felt guilty for how things went down with Scottie, for a long time. You needed this as much as she did. I'm just glad you got the chance. That you both did.' She says softly. He looks down at her, affection and appreciation on his face. 'Thank you. For forcing us to do it, you know we wouldn't have if left to our own devices.' He says, amusement in his voice. Donna chuckles. 'Oh I know. Sometimes you just need a little push. Lucky you've got me, huh?' She says teasingly, but he looks at her, something intense and focused in his gaze. 'I really, really am. I love you, Donna. I know I don't say it much, but I feel it. Every day' He says, his voice low and intimate. She blinks up at him, her throat thick when she answers. 'I love you too, Harvey. Always' she whispers, leaning up to kiss him soundly. She thinks of Dana Scott then, and hopes that she finds happiness. Who knows, maybe she already has. She silently thanks her, for being part of the journey that got him here, to her. It's where they were always meant to be. Together.


	3. Panic

By the time Donna walks through the door, she is well and truly exhausted. Exhausted, drenched, hungry and pissed off, to be exact. She'd had a meeting on the other side of town, which had gone well, but that was the only thing that had. As she was leaving, the skies had opened and her umbrella hadn't been able to withstand the torrential downpour, leaving her soaked and miserable in minutes.

On top of that, she hadn't been able to find a cab-they always disappear with the rain in New York-and once she finally had, they'd been stuck in horrible traffic due to some incident close to the building where her meeting had been held.

To top off her crapshoot of an afternoon, her phone had died, so she couldn't even call Harvey to let him know what was going on. 'Hey, I'm home. You better have a very large glass of wine ready for me, you won't believe what kind of...' She is cut off mid-sentence by Harvey, coming out of nowhere and pulling her into his arms, holding her tight against his chest. She lets out a startled laugh. 'Well, hi! Not that I don't appreciate a greeting like this, but I am soaked right now, and if you don't let go of me, you will be to.' She says teasingly. He just holds her tighter, not saying a word. She runs a hand through his hair, frowning. 'Hey. What's going on?' She says softly, sensing that something was not right. When he doesn't respond, she pulls away from him slightly, forcing him to look at her.

His face is pale, and there is sweat on his forehead and upper lip. His eyes look dark and haunted, and the lines around them are more pronounced than usual. Her level of concern goes up about a hundred points. 'Harvey, what is it? Did something happen?Are you alright?' She says, hearing the panic in her own voice. He looks at her, as if memorising the contours of her face. 'Why didn't you answer your phone?' Is the first thing he says. His voice sounds wrong , flat and almost lifeless.

She blinks up at him, trying to get a read on him. 'The battery died, I've been stuck in a cab for two hours. Something was going on close to the building where my meeting was...' she cuts herself off when he pulls away from her, walking over to the drink trolley, and attempting to pour himself a scotch. She says attempting, because his hands are shaking so much, he spills more than he pours. 'Harvey...you are scaring me here...what's going on? Please talk to me' She says softly, shedding her soaked heels, and walking cautiously over to where he stands, not touching him yet, afraid to spook him.

She watches him take an unsteady breath. 'There was a shooting... near where you had your meeting...and I couldn't...you wouldn't answer your phone..nobody would tell me anything and you wouldn't answer your phone and I just...' he stops talking abruptly, his breathing becoming short and choppy, and suddenly it all makes a horrible kind of sense. He'd thought...oh God...he'd thought she had been... she cuts off that line of thinking, it's not important right now, only he is and he needs her.

She's pretty sure she's witnessing the beginning of a panic attack. She tries to remember all of the things she read about them after she found out he'd been having them, how she might be able to help him if the need ever arose.

That all goes out the window and she lets instinct take over. She hurries over to him and gets in front of him, cradling his face between her hands. His eyes meet hers, frantic and scared. 'Hey...Hey, Harvey it's okay, I'm okay, I'm right here with you, okay? I'm right here, I'm fine. I'm fine. Come on honey, breathe with me, okay?' She murmurs softly, grabbing both of his hands and placing them on her chest. 'Can you feel that? Deep breath, in and out, do it with me honey, come on' she watches him struggle to follow her instruction for a few awful seconds before he manages to do what she asks, and takes a deep shuddering breath. 'Yeah. That's it, just like that. It's okay. It's all going to be fine, just breathe with me, you're okay.' She says softly. He takes a few more deep breaths, eyes squeezed shut, breathing her in.

They stand there like that, just breathing together, for what seems like a long time. She doesn't care. She'll stand there with him all night if he needs it.

Finally he opens his eyes and looks down at her. She breathes out a sigh of relief, because they are clear, he looks like himself again. She smiles shakily up at him. 'Hey.' She murmurs. He laughs a little brokenly. 'Hey...I'm sorry you had to...' she cuts him off quickly. 'No. You are not going to apologise for that. Not to me. Not ever. I am the one who should be sorry. God Harvey, if I had have known, I would have found some way to let you know I was okay, I'm so sorry' she whispers. He shakes his head. 'It's okay... it's not your fault.' He extracts his hands from where she is still clasping them tightly to her chest, and pulls her into his arms, burying his face in her hair.

She hugs him back tightly, hands running soothingly down his back. 'God Donna, I was so terrified. They wouldn't let me anywhere near there, and nobody was telling me anything. You wouldn't answer your phone and I really thought...' He trails off, his voice breaking. She squeezes her eyes shut, and holds him tighter, not responding, waiting to see if he'll open up more. She isn't disappointed.

'I thought...that you might have been hurt..or..God...worse, and I just couldn't...I couldn't...' she can hear his breathing start to pick up again, and pulls back quickly to meet his eyes, 'Hey. I'm here. I'm fine. Nothing happened to me, I'm right here, with you, okay?' She says, low and soothing. He nods slightly, breathing evening out. 'Yeah. I know. It's just...I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.' He murmurs. She smiles crookedly, reaching up on her toes, to lean her forehead against his own. 'Well I promise I'm going to do my best to make sure that doesn't happen, okay?' She whispers. He nods again, closing his eyes. She can see the lines of fatigue on his face.

In her research on panic and anxiety attacks, one of the things she read was that once they were over, they could leave the person feeling exhausted.

She should get him into bed, she knew, but he seemed content to stay here like this, holding on to her. She wouldn't begrudge him that, especially when it was as much for her as it was for him.

She'd never seen him have a panic attack before, probably because her leaving him had been the catalyst for them beginning in the first place. She'd heard about them, from Louis and Mike, sure. It wasn't the same as seeing it happen in front of you. It was horrible, seeing him like that. It made her feel helpless and a little bit desperate. To help, to fix. It's what she did. Especially for him. The fact that once again, she had been the cause for one of these happening to him again, just about killed her.

She feels him slump against her a little more, relaxing into her hold on him. She feels so grateful that she can do this for him, be his safe place. It's all she's ever really wanted. She runs her hands up his back and into his hair soothingly. 'You okay?' She whispers. She feels him nod against her neck. 'Yeah.. I feel okay now.. just stay like this with me for a while longer?' He murmurs. She smiles, turning her head to kiss his cheek. 'As long as you need. I'm not going anywhere.' She says. His arms tighten around her, and she lets the peacefulness of the moment steal over them.

It's much later, after they've showered and are curled up in bed, his head on her chest, right over her heart, that she asks what she's been wanting to ask for a while now. 'Is that the first one you've had since..' she trails off, not really knowing how to finish her question.

He's quiet for such a long time, she thinks he must have fallen asleep, when he answers her. 'Yes. I haven't had one in a long time. Can't say I missed them.' He says wryly. She ignores that. 'You know.. we've never talked about them.' She says tentatively, her hand running soothingly through his hair. He's quiet for a moment. 'I know. To be honest, I didn't know how to talk to you about them. We weren't exactly on the best terms when they started happening. Also I never wanted..' He trails off. She hums, urging him to continue. '...I never wanted to make you feel guilty, and I really didn't want it to be the reason you came back to me.' He finishes, his voice soft.

Her heart breaks a little at his admission. She knows how hard this is for him, to be so vulnerable. He spent years hiding his feelings and emotions away, in a locked box. She had chipped away at them slowly over the years, and things were so much better now they were together, but it's still not easy for him. Her chest swells with pride at how far he's come. 'I do. Feel guilty, that is. I know it's not all on me, but my leaving was the trigger. I can't tell you that I wouldn't have left, because it was something I needed to do, for me. I can tell you that had I known what was going on, I would have found a way to be there for you. I would have wanted to' She says, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. 'I know you would have' He says, voice soft and sure. She smiles against his hair.

'You know, I don't regret any of it. All the crap that we went through, all the different ways we hurt each other over the years. It all led us here.' She whispers. She feels him move, leaning up and over her, looking into her eyes. She sees so much on his face, all that he feels for her, right there. She wonders if it will ever stop taking her breath away. She hopes it never does.

'The only thing I regret... is that it took me so long to see what was right in front of my stupid face.' He says with a smirk. 'We could have been doing this for _years_' he says in a low, teasing voice. She laughs, loud and surprised. 'Really, you think so?' She quips. He kisses her, soft and quick. 'Maybe. If you'd have let me. I _was _pretty stupid for awhile there, when it came to you' He says.

She wraps her arms around his shoulders, bringing him in closer to her. 'You know, it wasn't all on you. I wasn't much better. I'll tell you something I _do _know. There's no getting rid of me now, Specter. You are stuck with me' She says, smiling up at him. 'You know what, Paulsen? I wouldn't have it any other way' he murmurs, before he kisses her again.


	4. Fight

It had been brewing for days. The pressure of working under the ever watching eye of Faye Richardson, getting to them both. They had begun sniping at each other. Over little, stupid things. Him not getting a contract back to her in time, her siding with Louis in a meeting.

These were things that at any other time, they could and would have shrugged off. Not now. Now they let it get under their skin, and each time they took aim at each other, it got progressively nastier.

That's the problem when you know the person you are with so well, it can be the very best thing, and sometimes the very worst. Because you know how to hit them, right where it hurts.

Donna lets herself into his apartment, shedding her heels and leaving them by the door. She let out an exhausted sigh. It had been a very long day. All she wanted right now was Harvey, a big glass of wine, dinner and bed, all in that order.

She pads down the hall, in to the living area, finding him sitting on the sofa with a file on his lap and a glass of scotch in his hand. He glances up at her, before returning his gaze to the file in front of him. 'You're late' He says, voice tight.

She feels a flash of irritation go through her, hearing it in her own voice when she responds. 'Hi honey, how was your day? Mine was _craptastic_, thanks so much for asking' She snaps at him. He closes the file, and slaps it onto the coffee table, standing to face her.

'You want to talk about a bad day? How about being in a meeting that you are already getting _railed _in, by the way, and having your girlfriend turn around and back the person who's screwing you over?' He snaps back. She narrows her eyes at him.

'Oh really, are you kidding me right now, Harvey?' She says incredulously. He takes a step toward her. 'No, I'm not, you were supposed to have my back in there, and instead you made me look like a Goddamn idiot!' He says, voice rising.

She takes a step toward him, hating the fact that without her heels, he towers over her. 'I'll have your Goddamn back when you _deserve_ it! You were wrong in there today, Harvey, and you know it!' She spits at him. He scowls. '_Excuse _me?!' He says, incredulous. 'You heard me. You were wrong. You let her get to you, and you reacted impulsively and made a shitty decision, and as usual _I _was the one who had to fix it!' She yells. His eyebrows shoot up. 'As _usual_?! You have got to be fucking kidding me! I don't _need _you to fix anything!' He yells back.

She feels the rage boil up inside of her. 'Yes you fucking do! You always pull this shit Harvey, and you are used to getting away with it, but not anymore! Not with Faye fucking Richardson breathing down our necks! Don't you get it? You fuck up, and it's not just you who is going to pay. That's on _all_ of us!' She hisses at him. He scoffs angrily. 'That woman can go screw herself!' He says darkly. She throws her hands up. 'Oh good! Real mature. Problem solved by the great Harvey Specter, go screw yourself, Faye!' She says sarcastically.

'Oh because _your _way of solving the problem is working out so well, huh? Letting her walk all over you, all with a fucking smile on your face!' He yells. Donna takes a step back. '_What_ did you just say to me?' She hisses at him. He takes a step toward her, eliminating the distance. 'You heard me. The _great_ Donna Paulsen, letting a fucking dictator walk all over her, I didn't think I'd ever see that.' He hisses back, a twisted smirk on his face. She sucks in a breath.

'Fuck you. I am not letting her _walk_ all over me you arrogant bastard! I am _trying_ to keep the peace, for the good of the firm, because it is my fucking job! A job that you and your Goddamn inflated pride and _ego _do not make easy!' She screams at him. He snarls at her. 'Your job. You mean the job I gave you?' He says, in a low, nasty voice. She recoils, feeling as though he just slapped her. 'You did not just say that to me. You did not just throw that back in my face _again_!' She says, her voice dangerously quiet, and laced with hurt.

She sees him hesitate. He's gone to far, and he knows it. She doesn't give a shit. Fuck him. Fuck him for saying that to her. She spins around, and heads for the door. She hears him start to follow. 'Donna...' He begins, but she cuts him off. 'No. I don't want to hear it. I really don't want to be anywhere near you right now, Harvey. I'm leaving.' She says, keeping her voice low and even. She slips back into her heels and opens the door, before she hears his voice again, soft and desperate. 'Donna, please.' She squeezes her eyes shut, a tear sliding down her cheek, remembering the other time he'd said those words to her, in that exact tone. Opening the door, she steps out into the hall, closing it firmly behind her. She'd walked away from him then, too.

She lets herself in to her apartment, and heads straight for the bottle of merlot she knows is in the kitchen. She tries to ignore the way everything is too quiet now that she's here alone. She's become so used to sharing space with him, her place seems almost foreign to her now, without him in it. Which is ridiculous. She's lived alone for most of her life, and they haven't even been doing this, _them, _for that long. This should be fine. She pours herself a large glass of wine, and tries to pretend that it is.

She takes a healthy sip, and wanders over to the window, looking out at the city lights. Her anger had faded on the cab ride over here, leaving her feeling sad and tired. They had fought before, but it was different this time. This was their first fight, as a couple, and it hurt more than she thought it would. She couldn't believe he'd thrown that jab about her job back in her face. Logically, she knows he didn't mean it. She'd seen his look of remorse almost as soon as he'd said it. But. He'd still said it. And it still hurt. He'd known it would, which is why he'd said it, which hurt even more.

She sighs. Harvey always did go for the maximum effect, he didn't like to lose any fight, be it in a courtroom or as she found out tonight, in a relationship. Problem was, tonight, neither of them won.

She takes another long sip of her wine, draining the glass, and contemplates eating something. She had been hungry before, but the fight with Harvey had diminished her appetite. She decides she may as well go to bed. She doesn't bet on getting much sleep. It's another thing she'd gotten used to far to quickly, feeling his warmth next to her every night, sleeping without him beside her isn't going to be easy.

She goes through her nightly routine on autopilot, her mind and heart a jumbled mess. She's worried about him, and she _hates_ that she is, but there it is. She knows out of the two of them, she's more emotionally equipped to deal with situations such as these, though he has come so far in the past months, his abandonment issues are still there-waiting for moments such as these to rear their ugly head.

She has been in bed, wide awake, for an hour or so, trying to ignore the cold and empty space beside her, when she hears her front door open and close. She takes in a sharp breath, but doesn't move. It only takes a few minutes before the bed dips, and he slips in behind her, burying his face in her hair, and pulling her tightly to him. She melts back against him, helpless not to.

They are quiet for a few moments, before he speaks. 'I'm sorry' he whispers into her hair. She lets her breath out slowly. 'I know. I'm sorry too.' She says softly. 'I didn't mean it. Not any of it. You deserve everything you've worked so hard for at the firm, Donna. I never want you to ever doubt that. Especially not because of some stupid thing I said.' he says, his arms tightening around her.

She sighs. 'I know you didn't, Harvey, but you still said it. Again. And it hurt because deep down I guess... well I guess I wonder sometimes, if the reason I am in my position _is _because you put me there. If anyone else was managing partner at the time, would I be where I am today? I know I'm great at my job, and you knew I could be, because of all the years I worked for you, but would someone else have seen the same potential in me? I guess it bothers me sometimes, thinking about it.' She finishes softly.

She startles when he turns her over, looking at her with an intense, determined expression. 'Listen to me. You are where you are today because you _fucking _earned it...' she smiles shakily, remembering shouting those words at him months before. '...and it kills me that you could doubt that for even a single minute. I'm sorry for my part in making you feel that way, but make no mistake Donna, there is _nobody _in the world who could do your job better than you. You were made for this role, I knew it then, and I sure as hell know it now.' He finishes, his voice full of conviction.

She closes her eyes. 'Thank you. I know I shouldn't need to hear it, but I guess I did tonight. It isn't just what you said earlier, this whole Faye situation has got us all feeling skittish. She makes me feel so...' she trails off with a sigh, not able to come up with the right words to describe how that woman made her feel. He runs a hand through her hair. 'I know. I shouldn't let her get to me, you were right. Sometimes though, I can't help myself. When someone pushes me...' she cuts him off, a wry smile on her lips. 'You push back. I am familiar with the way you operate' she says, rolling her eyes. He snorts softly.

'I know you are. I'm sorry Donna, really. I didn't mean to take it out on you.' He says softly. She smiles up at him, running her fingers through the short hair on the back of his neck. 'I know. It's okay. I do have a suggestion though. We need to try, as much as we can, to not bring our work home with us. Once we walk through the front door of our home, we leave it behind. What do you think? 'she says, watching his expression.

He nods. 'I think that's a great idea, in theory' he says hesitantly. She frowns. 'In theory?' He sighs. 'You and I both know, I can be a bit single minded sometimes, especially when it comes to work. I promise to try to leave it at the door, but I can't tell you it won't ever happen, that there won't be times when I can't do it' he finishes, a slightly anxious expression in his eyes when they meet hers.

She smirks at him softly. 'That's okay. How about this though, next time one of us does something that the other doesn't agree with, we confront it at the time. We don't let it fester, and cause another fight like we had tonight. Deal?' She says, one eyebrow quirked. He chuckles softly. 'That, I can work with. Deal.' He kisses her then, before scooting down, and resting his head on her chest. She smiles, running her hands through his hair. She laughs softly. 'I have to say, I'm surprised you came over. I wasn't expecting to see you until tomorrow. Thought you'd brood all night' she says teasingly.

His body tenses above her. She frowns, running her hand down his taut back. 'Harvey?' She questions softly. 'You left. I was... I was worried that I had... I couldn't leave it. I just...' He trails off. She closes her eyes. Of course. She should have known, did know, in fact. His fear of people leaving him, in particular of _her _leaving him, ran deeper than she cared to remember sometimes.

'Harvey. We had a fight. Couples fight sometimes. It's normal! I'd me more worried if we didn't' she chides. He sighs, and she feels his exhale on her neck. 'I know. But...you left. I thought, well I don't know. I've never been with someone who I couldn't lose before. With you, it's different. Everything is different with you. I just knew I had to try make things right, and it couldn't wait. I can't...' he stops speaking when she lifts his head, and kisses him fiercely.

'Harvey. I'm not going to leave you. I _love _you. I'm _in_ love with you. We had a fight. We are _going _to fight sometimes. And I might leave after we do, and you might leave after we do, and that's _okay_. It's okay, because we'll always come back to each other. As long as we talk about it, just like we are doing now, it will all be okay. Okay?' She says, her voice low and sure. He blinks at her. 'Yeah' he breathes. 'Okay.' She feels him relax.

'You know, that's the first time you've said that to me. Well since..since we've been together.' He says, his expression a little bit smug. She blinks, confused. 'Said what?' He leans in to whisper in her ear. 'That you love me. That you're in love with me.' The corner of her mouth quirks up. 'Huh. I guess it is.' She says lightly, feeling a little thrown off, but trying to hide it. The fact that she was in love with him was not news to her, hadn't been for a long time now, longer than she'd care to admit. She watches his face, and is surprised when the smug expression fades, and is replaced with something vulnerable. 'Say it again?' He whispers.

She rubs her thumb gently over his bottom lip, and thinks about how far they've come. This man, who only a few short months ago, couldn't even talk about his feelings for her without completely shutting down. This man, her man. She's loved him for 13 years. She'll love him for the rest of her life.

'I love you Harvey. I'm in love with you.' She whispers, and watches his eyes close, his face awash with happiness. 'You have no idea..how much I needed to hear that.' He says quietly.

She does, actually. As much as you might believe something to be true, know it's true, hearing it spoken aloud makes it real. He needed that tonight. He looks at her, his eyes soft.

'You are the most important person in my life, Donna. I don't want you to ever doubt that. I'm so in love with you, you have no idea.' He says tenderly.

She closes her eyes, letting his words wash over her. She needed it too. 'I have some idea' she says softly, her arms going around his neck, and drawing him down to her to kiss him deeply. They stay that way for a time, kissing and holding each other. Revelling in this new intimacy, before he draws back to look at her.

'You _know, _ I knew it.' He says, smug. She frowns up at him, confused. 'You knew what?' She questions him sceptically. He smirks, and leans in to whisper in her ear. 'You're into me.' She barks out a surprised laugh, remembering their conversation from so long ago. Her line doesn't really work anymore, but she uses it anyway. 'I'm not into you. I'm Donna.' She says sassily. He kisses her again then, laughing into her mouth.

'Oh you so are. You were right about one thing back then though.' He says. She smirks up at him. 'Only one?' He chuckles, looking at her with fond exasperation. 'I did fall for you.' He says, grinning. She laughs lightly. 'That you did, but I fell for you right back, so I think that makes us even.' He frowns playfully at her 'I guess... hey I wonder whatever happened to Big Bertha? Think she'd be interested in that three...' she cuts him off, laughing, and flipping them over so she's leaning over him. 'No sharing, remember?' She says, breathing the words against his lips. 'Not on your life' He murmurs, burying his hands in her hair and kissing her deeply, they don't need any words for a long time after that.


	5. Wonder

**So. This is just pure, tooth rotting fluff. I apologise, truly. I think I needed it after all the angsty chapters I've written lately! **

**On a serious note, thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the wonderful reviews I have received for this, and my other fics. It means the world, and keeps me motivated to want to write more! **

She wakes up slowly, to the unfamiliar sounds of the hustle and bustle of a busy hospital. Blinking slowly, she looks around the dimly lit room until she spots them. He is stood by the window with their daughter held securely in his arms, the city lights twinkling behind him.

There was something about seeing a man holding a baby. The contrast between how big and strong he was, cradling this tiny little human, it made her heart flutter in her chest. The fact that this was _her_ man, holding _their_ baby, just made it all the sweeter.

He was whispering to their girl, words she couldn't make out, but it didn't matter. The look on his face said it all, adoration, awe and above all, absolute love.

She knew how he felt. She'd only officially been a mother for a few hours, but she'd never loved anyone as much as she loved her baby girl. She couldn't even put it into words, it was truly indescribable, the closest she _can _describe it, is that it felt like her heart grew two sizes. Seeing him with her right now, she thinks it just grew another.

'Hey' She says softly. He looks over at her, a soft look of exasperation on his face. 'You are supposed to be resting' He scolds lightly. She rolls her eyes. 'Later. Get over here.' She says. He smiles, and heads to her bedside, sliding in next to her, their daughter now between them.

She smiles softly, running a finger gently over their little girl's soft cheek. 'Have you had her this entire time?' She says, looking up at him. He smiles sheepishly. 'Yeah. I couldn't seem to put her down. Now that she's here, I don't want to let her go.' He says. She laughs lightly. 'God. She's got you wrapped around her little finger already!' She teases. He shrugs. 'She does. She's just so..' He trails off, voice gruff. Donna smiles. 'Perfect. She's perfect. Can you believe we made that?' She says in awe. He laughs. 'I know.'

They look down at their baby, she has a light dusting of golden red hair and a button nose, both inherited from her mother. Her eyes and lips though, they are all Harvey. She's a perfect combination of the two of them.

Donna runs her finger over her perfect eyebrows, before she starts a little, a giggle escaping her lips. Harvey looks over at her, a bemused expression on his face. 'What?' He murmurs, a grin tugging at his lips. She runs her finger over their daughters left eyebrow, specifically the two tiny moles above it. 'If there was ever any doubt as to who's child she was..' she trails off teasingly. He glares at her fondly. 'Would you look at that. I have to say, they look better on her' He murmurs, running his finger gently over them.

She laughs, and leans up to kiss his matching ones softly. 'I don't know. I've always kinda liked them.' She says, looking at him with dancing eyes. He smiles down at her, before both of their gazes return to their sleeping baby. 'You know...we are going to have to give her a name soon.' He says thoughtfully. She nods. 'I know. Okay, so we narrowed it down to two. I know what my favourite is. What about you?' She asks, honestly curious.

He looks down at the baby. 'I think she looks like a...Vivienne. Our little Vivi.' He says softly, looking at her shyly. She feels her eyes getting wet. 'Vivienne. Vivienne Rachel Specter. I love it' She says, laughing wetly. He beams at her, leaning down to kiss her softly. They look down at their daughter. 'Hi Vivienne. It's so nice to meet you, sweet girl' She whispers.

They sit like that for a time, just gazing at her. 'Fifteen years ago, if someone had told me we'd be here right now, like this, I would have laughed them out of the room' he says softly. She laughs, 'FIVE years ago, I would have done the same thing' she says. He chuckles. 'I wouldn't have blamed you. It took us a long time to get here, but now that we are, I wouldn't change it.' He murmurs.

She smiles wryly, thinking of all the misunderstandings and heartache, the missed opportunities and miscommunication. Despite all of that, he's right. She wouldn't change a thing. Not when it got them here. Not when it got them _her._ It had all been worth it. 'Me either' she whispers.

He kisses her softly, then starts a little when Vivienne whimpers a little in her sleep. Her little face scrunches up, before relaxing again into slumber. He breathes a sigh of relief, and she laughs at him. 'Harvey. Are you seriously going to freak out every time she makes a noise? Cos, let me tell you, babies make a LOT of noise. Ours will be no different. In fact, she'll probably be worse, she is _your _daughter, after all' She finishes, a smirk on her face.

He scowls at her. 'I know. I'm just not used to it yet. I've only been doing this for..' he glances at his watch '...6 hours and 43 minutes.' He says. She smiles. 'Your doing just fine.' She says. They look down at Vivienne. 'I can't stop looking at her. Do you think that's normal? I think I could look at her forever, and never get tired of it.' He says. She laughs softly. 'Well if your not normal, neither am I. I feel the same way.' She says, running her fingertip softly over the downy hair on top of their daughters head.

He smiles at her. 'You must be tired. Why don't you try get some sleep? Vivi 's going to want to be fed soon enough, and my phones been blowing up since we sent that text out. The masses are going to be descending upon us soon enough, starting with your parents and my mother. And Louis and Sheila.' He grimaces a little. 'I don't think I've ever seen a grown man send so many emojis in one text before. It was alarming' he mutters.

Donna laughs. 'He's excited! He was so hoping we'd have a girl, I'm pretty sure he's already picked out the wedding invitations for Harrison and Vivienne.' She teases. His face pales. 'Like hell! My daughter is NOT marrying a Goddamn Litt!' He says, but his smile gives him away. He loves that little boy. She smirks. 'Time will tell!' He scowls at her, and she laughs at him.

'Mike and Rachel are on their way, too. Their flight would have left about an hour ago.' He says, smiling when her face lights up. 'Really?? I didn't think they'd be able to make it this soon!' She says excitedly. He chuckles. 'They called while you were sleeping, I've never heard them so excited. Wild horses couldn't have stopped them from coming' he says. She smiles happily. 'So, that's why you should get some rest while you can. I'll watch over her.' He says softly.

She smiles. 'I know you will, I just don't want to go to sleep yet. I know I should, but I just want to sit here with you and our baby for awhile, just us three.' She says softly, gazing down at their daughter. He presses her to his side, kissing the side of her head softly. 'Yeah. That sounds perfect.' He says, his voice thick. So they sit, the three of them, basking in their new reality.


	6. Heirloom

'Why do you have so many T-shirt's? Seriously Harvey, before we got together I think I saw you in a T-shirt maybe 5 times at most and you have like at least 30 in here! We are definitely doing a cull.'

He hears her amused voice float out from the bedroom, and smiles. He's standing in his kitchen, moving boxes everywhere. Everything was in a state of controlled chaos, controlled only because his girlfriend had taken on the moving process with relish, her organisation skills coming to the forefront with terrifying ease. She was like a drill sergeant. A very sexy, scary drill sergeant.

He looks around, and feels a twinge of sadness. He'd spent 20 years of his life here. It was hard letting it go. But that was the point of all this. Leaving the firm, making that decision had been one of the hardest _and _easiest of his life. Because the point was to have a life. Working 16 hours a day wasn't cutting it for him anymore, not after what he's been through these last few months.

Losing his mother has shaken him down to his very core. It has made him realise a few things, like what and _who _was important. His friends, who are more than friends, but family. Mike. Louis. Samantha and Alex. But above all, Donna.

Donna, who is the brightest light in his world. Even when he was at his darkest, she is always there. Standing beside him, supporting and loving him. Making sure he knows she is there for him, that she isn't ever going anywhere. Not without him. Her support over the last few weeks had been absolute, and it means more to him than he could ever put into words.

He knows grief. It comes in waves. One minute he could be feeling fine, happy even, and then it would hit him. He'll never see his mother again. Never hear her voice, she'll never see him get married or start a family. And then it's like it just happened, all over again, and he can hardly breathe through the crushing pain. The one thing that made it bearable, made it better, was Donna. Always Donna. She makes everything better.

When he had decided to resign, he'd been terrified to tell her. He hadn't wanted her to feel like she had to follow him, that he was swaying her decision in any way. She'd given him enough of her professional life over the past 15 years, he'd be damned if he made her give up a job she loved.

He shouldn't have worried. When he'd told her, she looked at him calmly, _knowingly,_ and shook her head. 'Harvey. I told you once, I'd follow you to the ends of the earth. I still mean that. This place, it's been an amazing experience, but I wouldn't have had any of that without you. And I don't want to stay here without you either. I've loved my job, I really have, but it's not just you who's realised there is more to life than work. It's time for us to figure out what that means. Together.' He'd been surprised, but he really shouldn't have been. Donna knows him better than he knows himself.

They'd discussed their options, and ultimately decided to move to Seattle. Mike and Rachel had offered them both positions in their practice. It had become busier and busier, and Harvey was honestly excited about the kind of work he was going to be able to do, he knew Donna was excited about working with Rachel again, and running their practice. The young married couple were over the moon to be getting their respective best friends back into their daily lives.

He never thought he'd want to do the kind of work that Mike did, but the idea of helping people who didn't have anyone else to fight for them appealed to him, now more than ever. The fact that he would get to do it working alongside his best friend again, and with Donna by his side? He couldn't think of anything he wanted more. Well, maybe one thing.

He walked over to lean against the doorway of the bedroom, watching her. She was sat cross legged on the floor, dressed in a pair of leggings and an old Harvard T-shirt of his, hair up in a haphazard bun and feet bare. She had never looked more beautiful. She glances up at him and smiles. 'Hey lazy bones, come to help me? Just in time too, I've started a keep and throw out pile. So far there's more in the throw out pile that the keep, so...' she breaks off, gasping when she sees him pull out the ring he's been carrying around with him for weeks.

He takes a deep breath, and falls to one knee, reaching out for her hand. She looks at him, then down to the ring he's holding, with wide eyes. '_Harvey_...' she breathes. He smiles shakily at her.

'I've been carrying this around with me for weeks. It's been burning a hole in my pocket every day. You remember the letter Marcus gave me? From my Mom? This was in it. She wrote me a letter, telling me she wanted me to have it. For you to have it. It belonged to my Grandmother, and Mom said she would have loved you. She said how much she was looking forward to finally meeting you...' his voice broke, and Donna reaches for him immediately, but he shakes his head.

'No, it's okay. I'm okay. I'd been looking for a ring for you for months, you know. I couldn't find one, nothing seemed right, not unique or perfect enough for you. Then I opened Mom's letter, and I knew why. I'd been waiting for this. She helped me one last time.' He closes his eyes for a moment, and smiles softly, opening them to look at her. She was smiling back at him, tears in her eyes, and God, but he loved this woman.

'I thought I wasn't meant to have this. I thought being in love, being vulnerable meant being weak. I've come to see that it's the complete opposite, and you taught me that. Loving you and being loved by you has made me stronger, it's made me better. You walked into my life 15 years ago and changed it forever Donna, and I'm so grateful you did. I'm so lucky that you never gave up on me, because you could have. So many times, and I wouldn't have blamed you for it.' He chuckles softly, and she smiles at him and shakes her head, eyes shining. 'Never' She whispers tearfully.

He grips her hand tighter, bringing it to his lips and kissing her fingers softly. 'I love you. I am so, so in love with you. Be my wife?' He says, eyes shining just as much as hers are. She nods. 'Yes. I will. Of course I will!' She says voice shaking, laughing through her tears. He beams at her, and slips the ring on her finger. It's a perfect fit. She doesn't even look down at it, before she's throwing her arms around him and kissing him desperately. He pulls her onto his lap, and kisses her back. She pulls back, and hugs him tightly, burying her face in his neck. 'I love you. I love you so much.' She whispers into his ear.

He laughs and holds her tightly to him, breathing her in. She kisses the side of his neck. 'I can't wait to be your wife' she whispers. He pulls back and kisses her again, because how can he not? She kisses him once, twice, three times before she laughs and pulls away, bringing her hand between them, gazing down at her ring.

He runs his hand over her hair gently. 'Do you like it?' He murmurs. She looks up at him, and smiles. 'Harvey, I _love_ it. It's perfect. It's even more perfect because of what it means. I love that it was your grandmothers. I love it even more because your mother gave it to you. It makes me feel like... like it's a connection between us. I never got to meet her, but I can look down at this ring every day for the rest of my life, and know that she wanted me to have it. That she knew how much I love you.' She says softly.

He smiles shakily. This woman. How does she always know the perfect thing to say? He'll never understand how he could ever deserve someone like her, but he'll spend the rest of his life trying to earn it. To earn her. He thumbs away the tears that have fallen off her cheeks. '_You're _perfect. Thank you. I'm so glad you love it.' He says softly. She kisses him again, and then hugs him tightly. They sit like that for awhile, just holding each other and taking in the moment.

He feels totally at peace, for the first time in a long time. Their lives are changing, and it's exciting and a little daunting too. Change can be good, and he knows they've made the right decision, but that doesn't mean it's not a little scary too. They're leaving everything they've ever known, to start new somewhere else. He holds Donna a little closer to him, and thinks; bring it on. Their future is bright. As long as he has her beside him, he knows they'll be just fine.


	7. Heart

**So this bothered me a bit, when Lily died from a heart attack (sob) _just_ like Gordon had, I thought shiiit, Harvey really needs to get himself checked out. Both parents dying the same way? Red flag! This is my attempt at working that out. Hope you enjoy! **

**Thank you all SO much for the amazing reviews. It makes me want to write more, I appreciate every one. xx **

She's been mulling over this for days, it's been keeping her up at night. She can see his worried glances every now and then, assured him that she's fine; that everything is fine, but it's not.

His mother died of a heart attack, sudden and unexpected. It's the same way he lost his father. The similarities scare the shit out of her, and she knows she needs to bring it up, to address the all encompassing fear that something like that may happen to him too.

She just doesn't know how. Not without causing him to shut her down.

The thing is, she knows her husband. He has a stubborn streak a mile long, and if he thinks he's being pushed into something, he'll push back twice as hard. It's a facet of his personality that she both loves and hates.

She knows she has to approach this delicately, has to make him understand how important this is. They have _just _got it right, finally. The thought of losing him so completely absolutely petrifies her.

The last few days have been a whirlwind of getting themselves organised for their move to Seattle. Listing both their apartments, packing up their lives and finalising things at the firm have taken up all their time and energy, but they both finally have a free afternoon and she's determined to broach the subject with him today.

She hears his key in the door, and him walking in while talking to someone on the phone. She looks up from her position on the sofa and meets his gaze. He smiles softly at her and holds his hand up, signalling he'd be done in a moment. She smiles back and nods, the smile feeling fake and wooden. He frowns, but carries on with his conversation, clearly trying to wrap it up.

She takes a deep and cleansing breath. She can do this. She _has_ to. He finishes his call, dropping his phone onto the counter, and heads over to her.

His face is full of concern, as he drops down next to her, taking her hand. 'Hey. You okay?' He murmurs.

She smiles shakily. 'Yeah, Harvey. I'm okay. There is something I want to talk about with you though.' She says softly.

He nods, squeezing her hand. 'Of course, what is it Donna?'

She glances down at their joint hands, running her thumb over his wedding ring. She still can't believe it.

They are married. He is her husband.

It's always seemed so out of the realm of possibility that this could be her life, their life, that she has to pinch herself to make sure it's real sometimes. She glances up and into his concerned eyes, and takes a deep breath.

'I want you to go see a cardiologist.' She says, grasping his hand tightly.

He blinks at her. 'What? Why? I'm fine.' He says, confusion in his voice. She takes a deep breath.

'I know. I know you are. But... so was your mom. And your dad. And they _both_ died from sudden and unexpected heart attacks. Both of them seemingly completely healthy.' She says, watching his face. He grimaces, sadness clouding his features.

'Come on, Donna. Just because that happened to them doesn't mean...' He begins, she cuts him off.

'You don't know that Harvey! What if there is some underlying issue there that you don't know about? All I'm asking is that you go and see a doctor, to make sure everything is okay. Louis recommended his...' it's his turn to cut her off.

He lets go of her hand and stands up. 'You talked to _Louis_ about this? Jesus Christ Donna, I'm fine! I don't need to see a goddamn cardiologist!'

She looks up at him, seeing his tight, angry expression and feels an answering bubble of anger well up in her chest. She gets to her feet and faces him.

'I talked to Louis because I'm worried Harvey! I won't let you make me feel bad about that!' She says heatedly.

He glares at her. 'That's fine Donna, don't feel bad about it, but don't expect me to go see a doctor when there is no reason to. It'd be a waste of everyone's time' he spits at her.

She glares back at him, incredulous. 'Are you fucking kidding me? No reason to? Harvey both of your parents died from heart attacks! If that's not a good enough reason to get yourself checked, I don't know what is!!' She snaps at him.

He looks at her, a cold expression settling over his features. An expression she's familiar with, but one she hasn't had directed at her in a long while. He's shutting down. Just like she knew he would.

'I'm well aware of how my parents died. You don't need to keep reminding me. That doesn't mean it is going to happen to me. I'm fine, Donna, and this discussion is over' he growls at her, the word discussion spat out, angry and sarcastic.

She throws her hands up in frustration. 'I don't understand why you are being so fucking stubborn about this Harvey! All I'm asking is that you go and see a doctor, what is so bad about that??' She questions, tone full of frustration.

He shakes his head angrily. 'I said I'm fine! Why can't you just let this go?' He yells at her.

She loses it then. 'Because I'm fucking terrified Harvey! I'm terrified that I'm going to wake up one morning and you won't be breathing!'

She can feel the tears streaming down her face, but she can't stop now.

'I'm terrified that I'm going to get a call telling me you've had a heart attack and you didn't make it! I'm just fucking terrified. You are my _husband.'_

She sees his face fall, and he takes a step towards her. 'Donna...' He starts, but she's not done.

'We are finally here, together and happy. You promised me we'd be together forever Harvey, and I'm just so scared that forever isn't going to be very long if you don't get yourself checked out' She finishes sadly. She is suddenly very, very tired.

'I love you Harvey, and I don't want to lose you, but I can't make you do this. I don't want to fight about it anymore.' She takes a step back, and turns on her heel, heading for the door.

'Where are you going?' He asks. She can hear the panic in his voice.

'For a walk. I need to not be here for a bit.' She says, looking at him. He looks worried and scared, the anger long gone. Part of her wants to go to him, to soothe and fix. It's what she does. She can't do that. Not now.

'I'll be back later' she says, walking out the door and leaving him standing motionless, staring after her.

She wanders around, thoughts and emotions churning around inside of her. She's told him how she feels. His reaction wasn't unexpected, but it still hurt. They're a team. They always have been and it hurts that he shut her down like that.

Before she knows it, the sky is darkening and she realises she's been out longer than she'd planned to be, lost in her own thoughts. She walks home, and takes a deep breath as she slips her key into the lock and lets herself in.

The place is dark when she enters, and she's about to call out for him when she spots him sitting on the sofa, a glass of scotch in his hand. She approaches him silently. He looks up at her, face highlighted by the city lights shining in from the windows. He looks wrecked, and she swallows down the lump in her throat.

'I didn't know if you were coming back' he says, voice low and scratchy. She sighs, and walks over to sit on the coffee table in front of him. 'Harvey, I'm always going to come back.' She murmurs. He nods jerkily, eyes trained on the glass in his hands.

'Hey' She whispers, taking the glass out of his hand and placing it beside her. She takes both of his hands in hers, holding them tightly. 'You know that. I'm not leaving you, ever.' She holds up her left hand, wedding ring sparkling in the low light. 'You're stuck with me now, handsome' She says softly, wanting to take that sad expression off his face. It works, briefly, as he flashes her a smile. But it slowly fades, as he pulls her hand down, running his thumb over her ring.

'I'm sorry Donna. I didn't think about how you might feel. I've been trying not to think about any of that, because I...' He trails off, voice cracking. She frees one of her hands and lifts it to cradle his jaw. He leans in to it, and she tilts his head up so she can see his face. His eyes are wet and sad.

'Oh honey. Because what?' She says, her own eyes filling. He looks at her silently. She lets him look, waiting him out.

'I'm scared.' He rasps, closing his eyes tightly, a tear falling down his cheek. She catches it with her thumb.

Her lips tremble as she slides closer to him, her free hand coming up to cradle the other side of his face, pressing her forehead against his.

'I know. I know you are.' She whispers. His hands reach out to grasp her hips, pulling her closer to him.

'I'm scared they are going to tell me something is wrong. That something could happen to me like it happened to my parents.' He says brokenly.

She closes her eyes, and runs her thumbs gently across his cheekbones. 'I know. But that's why I want you to see a doctor Harvey. There's so much they can do to help prevent anything like that from happening. There's no guarantee you'll even need to do anything at all, but I really want you to go and make sure.' She whispers. She feels him nod.

'Okay. Okay, I'll go.' He murmurs softly.

'Really?' She questions softly. He holds on to her tightly, and nods.

'Yes. If I can prevent something like that from happening to me, then I'm going to do it. I don't want to leave you, not now. Not ever. I'm sorry you've been so scared. You're my wife, and the most important person in the world to me. I don't want you to ever worry about talking to me about things that are bothering you. That's what I'm here for. I may not always react in the best way at first...' she cuts him off with a wet laugh.

'But we get there in the end. We always do.' She finishes, smiling at him affectionately. 'Thank you. I love you so much, Harvey.' She murmurs. He kisses her again.

'I love you too. Will you...will you come with me?' He says, looking at her with a vulnerability that steals her breath. She's still so amazed that he lets her see this side of him, it humbles her everyday. 'Of course I will, Harvey. You don't even need to ask.' She murmurs. He smiles crookedly up at her.

'Thank you' he says softly, kissing her gently and pulling her forward into his lap. She wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders, hugging him with her whole body. He hugs her back tightly, burying his face in her neck. She rests her cheek in his soft hair and sighs. They'll face whatever comes from the doctors appointment together, as they always have.

Right now, she is content to just be in the moment, holding her husband close and feeling his heart beat steadily in time with her own. She doesn't plan on letting go.


	8. Worth It

**This is my Thomas chapter. I really liked his character, thought he was a good guy, and could have been good for Donna (in a world where she'd never met Harvey) this is my way of giving them closure-more so than they got on the show. It also contains a lot of Darvey fluff to balance it all out of course. ;) **

**Again, thank you for the reviews and favourites, they mean the world to me, and make me want to keep writing. Thank you all. xx **

She left Samantha's office with a smile on her face and made her way down the familiar busy hallway. She had wondered how she'd feel, coming back here.

This place held so many memories; both good and bad. It was where she'd spent a good deal of her professional life. It was where she'd made lifelong friendships, and fallen in love. It was a place that had bore witness to her heartbreak and where her heart had been put back together again.

She'd been a little wary, being asked to come back and sit in on interviews, but Louis and Samantha had been having a bit of trouble finding a suitable replacement for her role, and she'd wanted to help.

She shouldn't have worried. She felt a little sad, yes. A lot nostalgic, but she knew this wasn't her life anymore.

Her life was back in Seattle, in a beautiful house with stunning views over the puget sound, with Rachel and Mike, and most importantly with her husband. Speaking of... she feels her phone buzz in her bag and rolls her eyes, smiling as she answers.

'Yes, I'm fine. I'm just going to stop by Louis's office and I'll be on my way to the airport.' She says teasingly, in greeting.

She hears his huff of amusement. 'Well hello to you too. Is that any way to greet your husband?' He says, his voice light and playful. She laughs, still feeling a thrill every time she hears him refer to himself that way. Her husband. It never gets old.

'I suppose not, but seeing as this is the _fifth _time you have called today, and it's barely lunchtime, I think I can be let off the hook.' She quips.

He laughs. 'I know, I know. I just miss you.' He says softly.

She sighs, and pictures him sitting behind his new desk, in his new office in downtown Seattle. The desk that holds three photos now, one of him and his parents when he was a child, the second of herself and Harvey on their wedding day; looking so happy and in love, and the third is a new addition. Black and white, the squiggly outline of a tiny new person that they'd meet in just four months.

'I miss you too. I'm pretty sure your daughter misses you as well. She's been moving around like crazy in there every time I talk to you.' She laughs.

'Really? You can feel her? I want to feel her.' She hears the whine in his voice, and laughs again.

He's been so frustrated the past month, as she'd been starting to feel their baby move, but he couldn't yet. Every time she'd announce that it was happening, he'd be there pressing his hands on her bump, waiting to feel his daughter move. It was adorable.

'You know what the books say. You'll be able to feel her really soon. She's just got to get a bit stronger.' She soothes, and hears him sigh.

'I know. I can be patient.' He murmurs sulkily. She barks out a laugh.

'Harvey, you have a lot of amazing traits, but patience isn't one of them.' She teases, and hears him huff in amusement.

'You're right. As always.' He laughs. She smiles.

'Damn straight. Now go do some actual work. I'm sure Mike would appreciate having his partner actually pull his weight sometime today. I'll see you tonight... I love you' She says, rounding the corner towards Louis's office.

He laughs. 'He just walked in actually. Hey Mike, say hi to Donna' he says. She hears Mike in the background.

'Hi Donna. Seriously Harvey, is this like the _tenth _time you've called her? I never knew you were so needy buddy...' she laughs as she hears Harvey tell him to shut it.

'Well that's enough of that. I'll see you tonight, but call me before your flight leaves. And I love you too' He says softly. She hears Mike again.

'I love you _too _Donna, come home soon, he's barely functional without you-' the call drops out just as she hears her husband start to growl out a response and before she can reply, but she's laughing too hard to care.

She slips her phone back into her purse as she enters Louis's office, still chuckling, and finds a man in there; just not the man she was expecting. Not someone she was expecting to see ever again, if she's being honest.

'Thomas. Hi.' She says, covering her surprise with a smile. He stands, turning towards her, and takes her in. A look of sadness passes over his face, so quick that if she'd blinked, she would have missed it. It is quickly replaced by a warm smile.

'Donna. I wasn't expecting to see you. What a nice surprise.' He says, taking her hands and giving them a gentle squeeze.

She nods. 'It is! What are you doing here? Do you have a meeting with Louis?' She questions, quirking an eyebrow at him.

He nods, letting go of her hands. 'I do. He's trying to woo me back. I've assured him I'm very happy with my current representation, but he insists he could do a better job.' He laughs, shaking his head.

Donna shrugs her shoulders. 'You know, he's not wrong. Louis is one of the most brilliant lawyers I've ever met, and I've met a _lot _of lawyers' she says with a smile.

Thomas smiles back. 'I don't doubt it. I'll take the meeting, see what he has to say. I can see things are very different around here. Speaking of...' He gestures to her.

She smiles, resting a hand over her bump. It really was noticeable now. For a long time it hadn't been, and she'd felt so strange having all these crazy symptoms (curse you morning sickness), with nothing outwardly obvious to show for it. Then it was like she woke up one day, and there it was. There was no mistaking the fact she was pregnant now.

'Congratulations, Donna. You'll make a fabulous mother. Think of all the experience you've already had here. You did use to tell me that these people behaved like toddlers you had to corral a lot of the time.' He smirks.

She chuckles. 'I did, didn't I? Thank you Thomas. It was quite the surprise, but a welcome one. We're very happy.' She says softly, not wanting to be insensitive, but not wanting to hide anything either.

He nods. 'And you got married? Wow. You guys sure moved fast.' He teases. She looks at him closely, but doesn't detect any sign of maliciousness in his expression, just curiosity. She laughs lightly, and nods.

'We did. I guess we thought there wasn't a point in wasting anymore time. We are it for each other, and we both knew that fairly early on. Plus 13 or so years was a long enough courtship, I'd say' she says, then immediately curses herself.

'Not that we were dating that whole time, obviously. I mean we were good friends, but we both dated other people, I...' Thomas mercifully cuts off her babbling with a laugh.

'It's okay Donna, I know what you meant. Honestly, I'm very happy for you. You are a wonderful woman, and you deserve the best.' He says, smiling at her.

She blinks away the sudden tears that fill her eyes. 'Thank you, Thomas. I'm actually really glad I ran into you. I'll never regret starting a relationship with Harvey. He's the love of my life.' She watches him close his eyes, a slightly pained look on his face, and forges on. She takes his hands in hers.

'What I do regret, and always will, is hurting you in the process. You are such a good man, Thomas. If I could change anything, it would be not having you be caught up in our drama. You didn't deserve it, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you. You are going to make some lucky woman so incredibly happy, I just know it.' She says with a smile, eyes shining.

Thomas smiles gently at her, squeezing her hands. 'Thank you, Donna. But there isn't any need to apologise. You were honest, and that's all anyone could ask. It just so happened, that your heart already belonged to someone else.' He smiles wryly at her.

'Though I guess if you had have worked that out sooner, we would have avoided this whole thing' he says teasingly. She laughs softly.

'But I don't regret meeting you, Donna. You are a remarkable woman. I very much enjoyed the time we spent together. And I'm happy we got to do this too.' He finishes softly.

She nods quickly, before throwing her arms around him in a gentle, impulsive hug. She feels him hug her back, before letting her go. She brushes a tear from her cheek, and laughs shakily.

'I should go. I was hoping to see Louis before I left, but he's still in his deposition. Will you tell him I stopped by?' She asks. He nods.

'Of course. It was good to see you, Donna. I really am happy, for you and Harvey. It seems like you've both ended up exactly where you were meant to. Good luck, with everything.' He says, a soft smile on his face.

She nods, and squeezes his hand one last time, before letting go. 'Thank you. Good luck with your meeting. Things have changed since you were here last, but all for the better.' She smiles and turns, heading for the door. She looks back at him before she leaves. 'Goodbye Thomas.'

He nods. 'Goodbye Donna'

With one last smile, she turns and walks toward the elevator, and back to her life.

She's sitting on the plane, lost in thought when she remembers she'd forgotten to call Harvey before she boarded. Baby brain is a thing, apparently. She pulls out her phone and shoots him a quick text, taking advantage of the in flight wifi.

_Hey honey, forgot to call before take off. Am in the air now. See you in a few hours. xx _

She puts her phone down, and takes a sip of her mineral water. Oh, how she misses wine. She could have done with one now, after today's events. She feels her phone buzz, and picks it up, smiling when she sees his response.

_Hey Babe, that's okay. Glad your on your way home. Try to remember to call when you land? xx_

She shoots a text back, telling him she will, before closing her eyes and trying to relax. She feels her daughter fluttering inside of her, and places her hand on her belly, surprised when she feels movement. 'Well hello there little one. You better do that again later for your daddy, okay?' She whispers. She feels another small movement against her hand and laughs. 'I'll take that as a yes'

Hours later, she lets herself into their home, breathing out a long sigh of relief. Flying first class was hardly a taxing experience, but she's finding that growing a brand new person is actually pretty exhausting. All she wants now is her husband, dinner, a shower and her own bed. In that order.

She leaves her rolling suitcase in the hall, and kicks off her heels, walking in to their living room. Empty. She knows he's home, his car is in the driveway. 'Harvey?' She calls. That's when she hears soft music coming from the kitchen. She smiles, and follows the sound.

She finds him bent over the stove, stirring something that smelt delicious. He's in his suit pants and shirt, jacket and tie discarded.

He looks delicious. He looks like home.

She feels an overwhelming wave of love wash over her at the sight of him here, like this. In their home. Hers.

She walks over and snakes her arms around him from behind, hugging him tightly and resting her cheek on his back.

'Hey! I didn't hear you come in.' He says happily, turning in her arms and leaning down to kiss her deeply. He holds her face in his hands, and she kisses him back hungrily, her hands running through the short hair on the back of his head.

He pulls back after a while, resting his forehead against hers. 'God, I missed you. No more trips without me, okay?' He murmurs. She laughs.

'God, you _are _needy, Mike was right.' She teases. He scowls at her playfully.

'You ever tell him that, and I'll divorce you' He growls, his smile belying his words.

She smirks up at him. 'No you won't.'

He smiles adoringly at her, and shakes his head. 'No. I won't.'

She laughs and kisses him again, short and sweet. 'I missed you too. I don't think we have to worry about anymore solo trips in the foreseeable future anyway. They've got everything pretty under control over there now' she says, running her hands over his shoulders.

'So things turned out okay then? They hire a new COO?' He questions.

She nods. 'Yes. A wonderful woman named Marie. She's smart as a whip, has relevant experience and won't take any shit. Exactly what they need.' She smirks and he laughs at her.

'Sounds like someone else I know. I seem to remember promoting her into that very position for those very reasons.' He teases. She nods at him, looking up at him innocently.

'Yes. You did that. I didn't guide you there like a horse to water _at all' _she quips_. _

He grins at her. 'You're right. You got what you really wanted, by making me believe you wanted something different. Sneaky.' He says, laughing.

She shrugs. 'I prefer smart. I learned the best way to deal with you years ago. It worked out for all of us in the end.' She says.

He pulls her close, hugging her to him. 'It did. Was it hard? Interviewing your replacement? I know how much you loved your job, Donna.' He says gently. She sighs softly, and shakes her head.

'No. I mean it was a little, but not really. I was worried I was going to feel sad about it, that I was going to miss it...but I just didn't. That place will always mean something to me. It's where I really came into my own, but it's not where I belong anymore.' She says softly, and looks up at him.

'I love our life here. I love being home in time for dinner every night. I love doing work that is meaningful. I love actually having _weekends_' she laughs.

'I don't miss working 60 hour weeks, or being so exhausted that I forget to eat. I don't miss the stress that place gave us. Especially you. Seattle is good for us. And it's going to be good for her too.' She finishes, looking down at her bump between them.

He smiles, and brings his hands down to cradle her belly. 'I agree with you. I'm happy you feel that way. One thing I was worried about when we left New York, was that I was taking you away from a job you loved.' He says softly. She reaches up and cradles his face.

'Hey, no. That was a decision we made together. As partners. You didn't make me do anything Harvey, or take me away from anything. I chose this. I chose to come here so we could have a fresh start, and it's been the best decision we've made. No regrets. I'll always choose you.' She says, looking up at him adoringly.

He looks at her with so much love in his eyes, it almost takes her breath away. 'I'll always choose you too, Donna.' He says, kissing her softly. She nods.

'I know you will. Speaking of, I ran into someone today. Thomas.' She says casually, watching his face. It tightens for a moment, and he pulls her a bit closer to him.

'Thomas, huh? How did that happen?' He says, clearly trying to affect a nonchalant tone. She smirks. He's failing miserably. Jealousy wasn't something she'd seen in Harvey that often. Which is why it amused her so much now.

'Oh, he was waiting for me in my old office, begged me to come back to him, said he'd be better for me than you' She says, straight faced.

His face goes red. '_What???'_ he hisses, holding her even tighter to him. 'I thought he was a good guy, what the _fuck._..' she can't help it, and starts laughing at him. He frowns at her before he shakes his head, and giving her a little shake.

'He wasn't waiting in your old office, was he?' He says sulkily.

She shakes her head, still laughing. 'No. He wasn't. I'm sorry, just your face! You went all alpha male, I couldn't help it!' She giggles. He laughs, shaking his head at her.

'You are devious Mrs Specter' He murmurs. She leans up and kisses him again.

'I know. I really did see him though. He was waiting in Louis's office when I went to say goodbye. We talked. It was...good. I feel like I can feel okay about that now. Really okay.' She plays with one of the buttons on his shirt.

'I told him I'd never regret starting my relationship with you, that you were the love of my life. But I do regret hurting him in the process. He's a good man Harvey. Probably the one other man I could have imagined having a life with.' She says softly, looking up at him, hoping he understands what she's trying to say.

Harvey nods, swallowing thickly. 'I know that. It used to scare the shit out of me, you know? I knew he was different to the other men you'd been with before. That he could make you happy. I used to torture myself with thoughts of you marrying him, having babies with him...' he laughs darkly, shaking his head.

She looks up at him, and cradles his cheek in her hand. He nuzzles into her, making her smile.

'He was all of those things. I think he could have done those things for me too.' She says softly, as she watches his jaw tighten.

'He had one fatal flaw though. He wasn't you.' She says, lifting his head and meeting his eyes.

'At the risk of inflating your ego, I don't think I could ever have been as happy, or more in love with anyone who isn't you. You are it for me, Harvey Specter. You always have been.' She whispers. He closes his eyes, and exhales softly.

'I love you. So much. I'm the luckiest Goddamn man in the world. Don't think I don't know it.' He murmurs, before kissing her deeply. She kisses him back happily, winding her arms around his neck.

She's about to suggest they postpone dinner and head up to their bedroom when she feels the flutter again, stronger than before. She breaks away with a gasp. Harvey frowns.

'What? What's wrong?' He says worriedly. She shakes her head and smiles, grabbing his hand and placing it on her belly. He looks down at his hand, and then up at her, a look of wonder on his face. He looks 10 years younger, and so, so happy it brings tears to her eyes. She watches him drop to his knees and laughs tearfully.

'She promised. I felt it on the plane, and made her promise she'd do it for her daddy later. Looks like she lived up to her part of the deal' she says.

He is riveted on her belly. 'Oh, I can feel her. Finally. Hi baby girl. I'm your daddy. We are so excited to meet you.' He murmurs. She looks down at Harvey, his big strong hands feeling their daughter move for the first time, and closes her eyes.

If she had to do it all again, to get to this point she would. All of the pain and heartache, all of the tears and frustration. Every second. She runs her hand through her husbands hair and exhales. It was all worth it.


End file.
